When you are in a relationship – intimate or friendly – you are taking a chance on someone else. The better you get to know someone and the more chemistry you have, the better the chances are that the relationship will be a positive one. However, despite the longevity and chemistry factors, there is always going to be a chance that the relationship doesn’t work out. As such, there will be an element of unknown in most relationships.
Regardless of the unknown, there are ways you can feel more secure in your relationships, not with standing the vulnerability that you may or may not feel.
1. Don’t snoop unless you really have good reason not to trust him.
Emails and voicemails taken out of context can cause a lot of unnecessary heartache.
2. GIVE THE PERSON A CHANCE
When you’ve been emotionally hurt in a relationship, it can be very difficult to start anew with someone else. Emotional hurt can manifest itself in judging a person simply because they ‘remind’ you of someone else.
Perception is not reality – however, your perception can become your reality if you let it. Carrying excess emotional baggage and handing it off to someone else because of what you perceive to be true is not fair – plain and simple. If you ever find yourself doing this, gently remind yourself thatno two people are the same. Everyone at least deserves a chance until they show otherwise.
3.Give him a little friendly competition.
It doesn’t hurt for him to know that your tall, built, wildly successful artist friend from college periodically tells you you’re the one who got away and it’s the biggest regret of his life.
4. TRUST UNTIL THERE’S A REASON NOT TO
Trust is the foundation to any meaningful relationship. For someone to share their life with you or depend on you in any way demands a sense of trust.
Trust is not easy to give because it makes you vulnerable. However, despite any initial difficulty that you may have giving trust, it helps knowing that the majority of people are well-intentioned. You’ll find that people value the trust you place in them and your relationship will be strengthened.
5.Be confident in yourself.
Finish your degree, apply for the better job, or write that novel. If you have a good sense of your own self-worth, you’ll be confident in your relationship.
6. RELEASE INSECURITY
Ask yourself this question: how often do you feel worried, lonely or jealous when in a relationship? If you are honest, chances are that you’ve felt one or more of these feelings at one time or another. As human beings, we fear rejection and isolation from other people because we value acceptance.
That being as it may, being infatuated with insecure thoughts and feelings can irreparably harm a relationship. Your imagination is not your reality and nothing is certain inany relationship. Therefore, you should just ‘let it be’ and let the chips fall where they may
7.Don’t let yourself become dependent.
Know how to unclog the sink and change a tire. Skills are confidence boosters.
8. REMIND YOURSELF THAT IMPERFECTION IS OK
Everyone is perfectly imperfect. Have you ever met someone who is perfect in every way, inside and out? Of course not, that is because perfection in a human being doesn’t exist.
Having impossibly high standards for people that you meet in life, hoping that they will meet these standards will almost assuredly result in emptiness and disappointment. There are no perfect people or relationships – only imperfect ones that happen to work for you.
9.Don’t compare your relationship to other people’s relationships.
The grass isn’t always greener and you never know what’s going on behind closed doors.
10.Let go of emotional baggage.
If your grandma told you your sister was the pretty one or your dance teacher said you weren’t graceful enough to be in the front row, it doesn’t mean your boyfriend thinks you’re homely or a klutz now.