Indonesia plans to build a prison guarded by crocodiles

Indonesia’s anti-drug agency chief is reportedly planning to build a prison on a remote island which will be guarded by crocodiles. He claims the snapping reptiles can’t be bribed, unlike human warders, and definitely won’t let inmates escape.

“We will place as many crocodiles as we can there. I will search for the most ferocious type of crocodile,” National Narcotics Agency (BNN) chief Budi Waseso said, as cited by Indonesian news portal Tempo.

Budi Waseso, Indonesia’s drug chief, is dead-ass about this plan, in which inmates would be placed on an island and surrounded by, no shit, crocodiles. From a report from The Guardian:

“We will place as many crocodiles as we can there. I will search for the most ferocious type of crocodile,” he was quoted as saying by local news website Tempo.

Indonesia’s drug traffickers face death by firing squad if convicted. Even locked away and facing a brutal death, though, they reportedly still recruit other inmates into drug gangs, and apparently have either the clout or resources to sway guards into helping them escape. This is where the vicious man-eating crocodiles come in:

“You can’t bribe crocodiles. You can’t convince them to let inmates escape,” he said.

This is true. One cannot bribe crocodiles. With money. I suspect James Bond—or, really, any prisoner hell-bent on escape—would tempt the beasts with, I dunno, maybe just another prisoner or two. We are operating on the premise that the crocodiles will be hungry for man flesh, after all. Make a deal!

Waseso plans to visit a crocodile farm in the city of Medan, North Sumatra, as well as Papua province and the island of Sulawesi in search of the most dangerous breeds.

He says he informed the Ministry of Justice and Human Rights, which administers law and human rights, about the ‘crocodile prison’ plan. Reportedly, the ministry hasn’t yet approved the proposal.

Waseso is known for his controversial statements regarding drug smugglers. In September this year he called for the government to execute drug convicts who were on a death row. In October he called foreign drug offenders killers”.

“They are enemies of the state. The threat is clear,” he said.

Indonesia has some of the toughest drug laws in the world. President Joko Widodo has repeatedly insisted that drug offenders must face the death penalty, adding that Indonesia is facing a “national emergency” due to rising narcotics use.

This is a real thing—the plan is “in the early stages,” but, seriously, there is such a plan. What in blazes.


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